As for his "executor" role. Well, I can understand how he can feel like that. However, it's one thing that I cannot do/don't want to do much about anymore. My H never did anything by himself. He was comfortable just doing his job and coming home to rest. Cat, I read somewhere that your h never helped enough for you to have time for yourself or something like that. It was the same for me. When kids were small he was coming back from work when they were already in bed and during the weekend it was his time to rest as he had "such a demanding job". Then I got back to work, had full time job just like him, with the same high responsibilities but he was not helping though he said he would, it was me who had to do everything. If I didn't, it simply didn't get done.
I probably did say something like that.
The truth in the situation, as I can see it now from a much more outward perspective, is that I had some responsibility in it as well. If I wanted time for myself, I should have taken it.
I tended to be an ultra responsible, get it done, kind of person. Some people call that controlling.
While I am still responsible and I can still get things done, I also recognize that I am not the only adult in the household.
My BF, is just as responsible and I am. He has days where he just needs to rest from work. If I have one of those days where I just needed time to do other stuff, like schoolwork or taking a bath, some things just don't get done.
In the past, that would have simply not been an option for me. I would have run myself ragged trying to do everything.
In stopping that behavior, I have created a situation that allows both of the adults in the household to feel like adults. Instead of one person feeling like a parent and the other person feel like a child.
I have also created a situation where I am happier and not exhausted and stressed out anymore.
A funny tidbit...as I still talk to X occasionally, after I moved out and he had to was taking care of all of the stuff I did...he told me that he realized that he should have helped out more. And he is capable of doing so.
Anyway...I had a good vacation, thank you for asking.
It sounds like things are going well for you...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
