So lost, so confused

[j20a00g]

February we got a small apartment to take turns going back and forth to as she needed space. Lease ended in August and she moved into a new place and now kids go back and forth. July she told me she loved me and wanted us to work but needed space. 2 weeks later it was called a lapse in judgement and she wanted a divorce. She randomly googles an attorney but, as far as I know nothing has been filed.

She's been having a PA/EA for over a year with my former bestfriend. I was told before while in MC that if I made her choose, that I wouldn't be happy. She's constantly with him. Dates all the time. According to internet searches also into many MANY new things that are quite taboo. Changing her appearance, demeanor, interests, etc. it's now to the point where the kids are being affected.

I've read DB 4 times. Spoke with a coach. And enrolled in LRT web program. I still feel lost. It still feels hopeless. Have been going dark and GAL and things seemed to be settling a bit. Yesterday we even planned a little trip with the kids for later in the month but, then see she's searched for the attorney this am! I don't get it! Feels like an impossible battle.