When I was first on here, I just didnt get this stuff. It seemed counterintuitive to what I felt I should be doing. Let him go? What??? Move forward? Live my life? But, but....I have to hang on to him. If I let him go, he will keep going, I thought.
I used to tell posters to picture this. Someone is hanging onto your pants leg. You want them off. You pull and pull, so they hold on tighter. The more you pull, the tighter they hold. Until eventually, you just want them off...so you try your hardest to break the hold...anything to get away from them.
That is how an MLCer feels when we hold on. They cant move forward while looking over their shoulder at you. And you want them to move forward because that is their way out of their crisis. YOu want them to have silence to hear their thoughts and figure out what they need to.
The words they use are hard to hear. You dont have to like it, but, you want them to feel heard.
They way for all of that is for you to take the focus off of them and put it on you and your children. Leave them to their stuff because you dont want to get any of it on you. .
You want them to see someone strong and with dignity.
So leave them to their foolishness. You live your life. Figure out you. Find your passion.
The reason is that if they choose to look towards you in the future, you get to decide what YOU want from a place of strength.
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