I am glad you are still posting on my thread and I hope you continue to do so. I never minded your criticism. I like you and I really do respect what you have to say. Most of all, I respect your honesty.
I will be honest too. I agree with your thoughts regarding new relationships. Its rational, and makes a lot of sense. I reread a couple of posts back about your thoughts on dating and you are spot on. I'm not gonna kid myself and say I'm in a good place and emotionally/mentally stable. I am really damaged and very vulnerable. I'm angry, I'm remorseful, I'm grieving, I'm depressed. Most of all I'm tired. I recognize it. I don't really know what I'm doing, my feelings are all over the place but I'm just doing it anyway.
(I once posted that I would make a horrible super hero. I know better, but I would never give the retrieved money back to the banks. )
Maybe an analogy is a starving person is given a piece of chocolate cake that is begging to be eaten. Sure its not necessarily good for you but hard to resist. I don't really know and am just kind of taking things day by day I guess.
Regarding your challenge, I don't really like to drink at all either, but i have some great and interesting friends that do. In fact, some of my closest friends have done things in their pasts, that I morally disagree with. But by accepting them, I lose nothing.
i was never really able to accept my husband though. So go figure. One of the things I regret in our relationship. And perhaps, the necessary element for a successful marriage? I am still unable to accept and forgive him. Maybe this is what i need to work on for healing?
In fact, you and I are alike in this aspect. We are both so morally opposed to divorce that it becomes difficult to accept our spouse for ending the marriage. We both recognize that our marriages were unhealthy, and miserable. Yet I cannot speak to my husband and I certainly was unable to be his friend throughout this whole process. (the one thing the DB coach said was necessary for any chance at reconciliation)
When I told my husband i was uncomfortable with mediation, he responded that he respected my opinion. I don't know if that was a canned response of politeness but I can tell you that I never once respected his opinion regarding ending our marriage.
Im so tired of my feelings regarding husband. I am remembering less and less. Our marriage and memories are becoming more distant. My feelings are never reliable. And my beliefs are just my beliefs. They are not necessarily right either.
)