Just doing a little reading, say you have some decisions to make regarding D6 time. What would I do personally you ask? (well, you didn't ask, but I 'm going to tell you)
Seems like seeing her grandparents would make her super happy. It's a week, it would be a nice vacation for her.
I think your L's idea of starting with 2 weeks each then negotiating the others is great. My ex and I have a much more flexible so it is hard to weigh in on other's schedules. I have our D most of the time. We each take one week with her in the summer. Holiday weeks off, well, we send her to the vacation club her after school care runs. For the days there is no care, we send her to whomever will take her, lol! May it be his sister, my dad, my friend, or he has a whole lot more days off than I do, he takes her if he is off and I am not.
If we schedule a vacation outside of the summer, neither of us personally has a problem with her going, no matter who's parenting time. It's great for her to get away and have some fun. We let eachother know in advance. And if I schedule a vacation for myself without D9, I let him know in advance, because yes, for one week a year, he's got to figure out how to handle a whole week, whether or not it's my parenting day or not, because well, I get most of the parenting days.
I only share so you can have an idea of how it works for some people. There really is no right or wrong answer. It's what works for you, your ex, and your kids. As time goes on and you figure out your groove, things may become more flexible.
As far this:
"I am just gushing like a...a...Heck I don't even know like a what!?!?"
I believe you are gushing like a "little school girl"
But there is nothing more manly and attractive than a guy who gushes like a little school girl over his children. So it works for you.
Your kids seem amazing. Your oldest is beyond her years in a good way. Your youngest reminds me of mine, so spirited she can't help but light up every room she walks into.
Thank you Phoebe, roist and Grl!!! The pride has continued on into today. I shared the video with folks at work and family and friends and the outpouring has been wonderful.
Ginger...Thank you so much for your thought and advice... It helped me to confirm the decision that I made. Yes...like a school girl...Thank you for making me feel attractive today, cuz, I was gushing all day!!
Journaling...
My day has been a wonderful one with moments of emotion...the good kind. I shared the link to the news story with everyone I could...I know that d18 is going to meet her goal for her project.
I also came to a decision for d6 and fall break. D6 pulled me aside yesterday and said, would you change my time with you so I can visit grandma. She told me that the whole family was invited and If I would go. I told her that I could not, but that maybe it would be a good idea to talk to her mother and see if she could go. She told me Thank you.
I knew in that moment what I needed to decide and no rational nor other reasoning mattered... This was about D6...she has a good relationship with her grandparents, and she of all people right now needs the opportunity to cultivate these sorts of relationships.
I decided to let WAW know... She was surprised... She said that she was sorry that D6 had brought it up to me because she had not told her that she was checking with me. This morning when I dropped d6 off, she told her mother I said she could go. WAW apologized several times.. I replied, I want to do what is right for D6...no matter what...nothing between us should ever stand in the way of that. WAW agreed and then asked if we could swap some other days so that I do not lose any time with D6...I told her we can work something out, and for now to go ahead and plan the trip and let me know and not to worry much about those details.
First cordial conversation...almost more than just cordial, there was not an ounce of anger, nor spite...It was plain pleasant to speak with her for a few moments.
With all that is going well and the source of much of my pride and hoy being my daughters, I ran across a song that I have not heard for years, but I know the first time I heard it, it invoked strong emotions form d18....and now the song struck the same chord for both lil angels for me...one D that is nearing the end of the song, and the other D being the one at the beginning.
Quote:
Butterfly Kisses Bob Carlisle There's two things I know for sure She was sent here from heaven, And she's daddy's little girl. As I drop to my knees by her bed at night, She talks to Jesus, and I close my eyes. And I thank god for all of the joy in My life, but most of all, for
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer. Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair. "Walk beside the pony Daddy, it's my first ride." "I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried." Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right To deserve a hug every morning, And butterfly kisses at night.
Sweet sixteen today, She's looking like her mamma A little more every day. One part woman, the other part girl. To perfume and makeup, From ribbons and curls. Trying her wings out in a great Big world. but I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer. Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair. "You know how much I love you daddy, But if you don't mind, I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time." Oh with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right. To deserve her love every morning, And butterfly kisses at night.
All the precious time Ohhh like the wind, when the years go by Precious butterfly Spread your wings and fly
She'll change her name today. She'll make a promise, And I'll give her away. Standing in the bride room Just staring at her, She asked me what I'm thinking, And I said "I'm not sure, I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl." Then she leaned over and gave me
Butterfly kisses, with her mama there Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair "Walk me down the aisle daddy, it's just About time" "Does my wedding gown look pretty Daddy?" "Daddy don't cry" Oh with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right To deserve her love every morning, And butterfly kisses I couldn't ask god for more, man, this is What love is I know I've gotta let her go, but I'll always Remember Every hug in the morning, and butterfly kisses There's two things I know for sure She was sent here from heaven, And she's daddy's little girl. As I drop to my knees by her bed at night, She talks to Jesus, and I close my eyes. And I thank god for all of the joy in My life, but most of all, for
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer. Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair. "Walk beside the pony Daddy, it's my first ride." "I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried." Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right To deserve a hug every morning, And butterfly kisses at night.
Sweet sixteen today, She's looking like her mamma A little more every day. One part woman, the other part girl. To perfume and makeup, From ribbons and curls. Trying her wings out in a great Big world. but I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer. Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair. "You know how much I love you daddy, But if you don't mind, I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time." Oh with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right. To deserve her love every morning, And butterfly kisses at night.
All the precious time Ohhh like the wind, when the years go by Precious butterfly Spread your wings and fly
She'll change her name today. She'll make a promise, And I'll give her away. Standing in the bride room Just staring at her, She asked me what I'm thinking, And I said "I'm not sure, I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl." Then she leaned over and gave me
Butterfly kisses, with her mama there Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair "Walk me down the aisle daddy, it's just About time" "Does my wedding gown look pretty Daddy?" "Daddy don't cry" Oh with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right To deserve her love every morning, And butterfly kisses I couldn't ask god for more, man, this is What love is I know I've gotta let her go, but I'll always Remember Every hug in the morning, and butterfly kisses
I have not been getting as much sleep as I should...not having issues sleeping, just staying up late reading and waking early to go jogging... It is catching up...
I hope and pray for good things for all of you here...it is a long road...it does get better...Peace to all of you.
A good quote to end my thoughts this evening came to me from a friend... It is the simple truth and guide by which we all need to stay focused on in our journeys.
"Doing the right thing - is never wrong"
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
SH, why are you adopting my bad sleeping patterns??? You're doing the exact same thing I have been doing... just staying up to do random things!
Watch out fellow DB'ers. This bad habit is apparently contagious.
Beyond that I enjoyed reading your post and am hoping that you have been doing well in the days since you wrote here last.
((((((SH))))))
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
I ran across this and found it of most benefit and worth reading daily. I see many stories here that could use these to find balance within ones self... Every bad emotion that runs through can be remedied with these reminders...
#6 and #11 are the two that are getting much of my focus right now.
12 Daily Reminders
1. The past cannot be changed. 2. Opinions don't define your reality. 3. Everyone's journey is different. 4. Things always get better with time. 5. Judgements are a confession of character. 6. Overthinking with lead to sadness. 7. Happiness is found within. 8. Positive thoughts create positive things. 9. Smiles are contagious. 10. Kindness is free. 11. You only fail if you quit. 12. What goes around, comes around.
I hope that those that read may find some comfort and benefit in the moment.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
It has been mostly quiet for me. I went to a GAL activity with a couple of friends from work on Saturday. BBQ and baseball game. It was nice, but I did not get much from it. I tried...just an award scene. My one friend is 15 years my younger and the other friend is in the midst of a separation herself and brought her 4 year old son. Cute kid and I would love to have him hang out with D6 as they would get along well I believe...but I just did not feel like it was much fun... What is wrong with me? Maybe it is the efforts i am making to come of the meds? I hope not, because, I do not want to keep taking those things and I want to be me...feel me...feel real peace and joy...grrrr So the week has been nail in my tire Monday, filling popping out of a tooth and getting it fixed today...sleeping better, good energy for my workouts and runs, but head feels like it is thinking in quicksand...
And to top it all off, I may have come to a realization that I have zero social circle as I am cutting loose some friends that just take and take...Why have I put up with this for so many years... I am not seeking that anyone give me anything, but I realized I am sitting around at their beck and call...and the just is not going to work for me anymore...
Anywhoo.... I am doing alright. D18 has expressed concern, but really, I am fine...maybe stuck inside more than I thought, but I gotta get this figured out.
It's late...I have to go get some sleep.
I hope all is well out there in the community...I am checking in...just not so much.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
This is the song that is resonating with me this week.
Quote:
Theory of a Deadman Head above Water _____________________________________ Did you ever picture life like this No shooting star to grant your wish Are you everything you hoped you'd be I got somewhere in between
You dropped your miracle down a wishing well And prayed for luck to cast it's spell To bring you closer to your dreams That always seem just out of reach
You pray to God, don't know when But you feel the current pull you in You try to keep your head above water It's never been harder Even when it feels hopeless You're gonna get through this
Head above water Gotta fight from going under Even when it feels useless to wish You're gonna get through this
Have you ever felt like giving in Tried for hours but just can't win Tell yourself you're not good enough The struggle alone is just too much
No one's there to hear you scream You gasp for air but cannot breathe Did you ever think you'd see the day When you'd watch your life get washed away
You pray to God, don't know when But you feel the current pull you in You try to keep your head above water It's never been harder Even when it feels hopeless You're gonna get through this
Head above water Gotta fight from going under Even when it feels useless to wish You're gonna get through this
Did it ever hurt so bad That the thought of feeling lost Would never end Well you will think again
Try to keep your head above water It's never been harder When it feels hopeless You're gonna get through this
Head above water Gotta fight from going under Even when it feels useless to wish You're gonna get through this
Your head above water, never been harder Tryin' to keep your head above water Has never been harder You're gonna get through this You're gonna get through this
Watch the music video.... The ending...after the song... Keep your head above the water. I AM GONNA GET THROUGH THIS!!!
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
