Actions speak louder than words. Instead of talking to him about what you are or are not doing, show him. Also, it might be best not to discuss what the other wife is doing. After all, he's caught between two women that he cares for and this might actually feed his ego a bit. So, step back, only discuss what pertains to you and leave the other wife to look like the jealous woman that she may be.
As for taking naps, sounds like he's not sleeping very well at night. Maybe he can't turn his thoughts off and his brain is running a mile a minute.
Be the safe place for him to land. Stay as positive as you can and keep the focus on you for now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
