Huddy .... all that ^^^ just honesty and I completely get where you are and the why's behind it. I too did not have much in the way of a 'support group' outside of this forum and those I did trust, well who wants to talk about a crazed MLCr day in and day out ... which is what this place if for, journal and vent and get it out which really does help just doing that.
Reading a bit of your post, have you ever thought that you both became a bit co-dependent? I know in my case we both were which really did not help her much as she was in the tunnel, torn on letting go completely and really getting into her tunnels ... the temp/anchor checks became exhausting and I was not strong enough to see them for what they were thinking foolishly she would be the record setting MLCr and be done with it all in a year. So over time I did things out of my comfort zone, I play softball once a week ... football once a week and like you from the sounds there is always work to keep busy.
As far as that last paragraph. They are so deep in the depression they really can nto see past their own interests, the chase to do what they can to avoid/stop the pain consumes them so one they do not even recall what they are doing much, two they really do not care as its a case os self survival. They have convinced themselves that what is right out in front of them is not going to help (They are actually correct in this ... we can not fix them) but conversely ... that we the LBS are actually the problem (Not true but will take them the crisis to figure this out ... if they ever do) They need to get to the root of the issue, to do this they will pull everything out of the garden so to speak till they find that one weed that started it all. Not much we can do but become strong enough to allow them to freely go about on this journey and in the meantime its a great opportunity to develop into a very strong individual .... when and if they wake we will need every ounce of strength we can get.
