Maybe She Isn't Evil

[RDS]

Basically my W and I are in a kind of friendship limbo. I had my last of 6 DB coaching sessions Saturday and my coach said I was doing all the right things. As I’ve mentioned numerous times we now talk frequently (3-4 times a week) for hours at a time. My coach did tell me I had to be prepared for a sudden 180 from my W as her emotions will probably change and her thoughts get conflicted. She may become angry and lash out. My coach told me not to question her change of emotions, such as me asking her why she is so angry and asking what I did wrong to upset her. I had to promise my coach I wouldn’t do that. I know it’s easier said than done. Right now we have a good thing going communication-wise so if/when she changes her tune I am prepared.

There is still no talk of R. My coach said not to broach the subject unless my W brings it up, which I plan to do. I don’t want to scare my W off. I guess a journey of a 1000 miles starts with 1 step.

My W did finally walk through the house a week or so ago to see all the work I’ve done getting it ready to sell. It was the first time since the BD date she had been in the house. That is nearly 5 months ago. She told me repeatedly I have done a good job and it was obvious I had put in a lot of work getting the house ready.

My neighbor who was more friends with my W than me talked with me yesterday. Originally we discussed the approaching hurricane as everyone is panicking around here. But eventually we started talking about my W and me. My neighbor is really hoping we get back together. She has told my W I am remorseful and although I’m living my life as normal as possible she can tell I have some sadness in my life. My neighbor did ask me if it was okay for me to say stuff like that and I told her it was fine as long as she let my W know I have no part of what she is telling my W. She assured me she has told my W I am not asking her to say those things and I don’t have any knowledge of her doing so. My neighbor did say my W has noticed the changes in me but she is so afraid to trust me. I replied I don’t blame her. If I was in her shoes I would be the same way. I would find it incredible hard to trust someone in such a short time considering it was years in the making for her to make the decision to leave me.