I'm curious about this. My husband is a bit unusual for a man, he hates pursuing, absolutely hates it. He likes to be chased. This was a big hangup for him about looking for another wife because he was so afraid of being rejected. He told me all this. I've always been the pursuer in our relationship.
On the other hand, he wants now to be in control of when he comes to me and the other wife. I'm not ok with that, but I agree with you I need to accept that part of it to get his attention, but I really don't think there would be any benefit of my being aloof if he does come. I just don't think it will send the right message as it would really hurt him rather than make him want to pursue. His pursuit is just in showing up, not in whether I make a meal or say I love you or whatever.
Over the last few months he has come home so many times and wrongly perceived a negative look on my face that sent him running out of the room, when it probably was just that I had been asleep and just woke up. I actually told him this when we had our relationship talk. I said let's just live our lives, but don't in the future imagine I am upset, if you had stuck around a minute or two you would have seen I was happy to see you, not angry at you. "If you come, I won't spend my time being nasty to you." Honestly, this I think could be the ace up my sleeve as I think the other wife will probably get emotional with him about me if she knows he is with me and maybe clingy, whereas I am not going to waste my time with whining about him being with her when I actually do get to spend time with him. I'll enjoy it for what it is because I know this is what he wants to hear from me.
