Maybs - Pt 4 - where to now?

[maybs]

Thanks everyone, I feel like I've been doing relatively well under the circumstances. But I feel so much pain sometimes that I feel like I physically hurt.

I was just sitting here at work thinking about something super mundane, an item at home, and that somehow started this like chain reaction. Thinking about that thing led to "that was ours" and I'll never be able to look at that again without thinking of her. Then I miss her. Then I'm divorce, she's not even my wife anymore. Then I just kept thinking, I'm divorced, I'm divorced. Over and over again.

And I just felt so alone. I guess I feel so alone, it's not past tense.