I am 18 months into piecing. It's hard, but I realize over time it is getting better, and the triggers are fading quickly. I tend to post in Newcomers because there is more activity there. I also find that I don't share much about my sitch because most people just want their S to come back and therefore they have different needs. Lately I have been wondering if reading the board is holding me back and keeping me in the past emotionally, especially in regards to the effect of WH on LBS and the kids.
NY, I have read some of your sitch. I don't have to see OW every day--I cannot even imagine how hard that is--but I have seen her several times in the last couple years. Yuck. That must be incredibly painful.
I don't know if this helps, but I am further down the road than you, and most definitely the impact lessens over time. There were triggers, seeing her, and things that came up that would throw me into a full on visceral response. I can recall feeling anxious, nervous, angry, and emotional all over even little reminders. My feelings and opinions haven't changed about her and what happened, the affect on me has. In fact just in the last couple months and weeks I feel so much stronger. She has no power over me anymore. I am the one that gave it to her and I am the one that has now taken it back. She is nothing.
One thing that gives me hope is when I think about my life on a broad spectrum. There have been other hardships and losses and over time, the pain has only gotten better or dissapeared. I am not sure if this is any different. I keep putting my head over heart and believe there are more silver linings and life lessons that will eventually come from this.
At least we are looking inside ourselves and facing life's hard challenges. OW (and most likely OW in your sitch) lack that ability entirely for them to be capable of such low life and selfish behavior. In some ways I pity them. I would never want to live life justifying this type of mistake.
So keep going into work with your head held high. Some days will be harder than others. Down the road you too will take your power back and you will only grow stronger as you face yourself.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
