Hi Job, I finally was able to dig up your post about childhood trauma etc. and while I think that might shape how someone deals with any sort of stress throughout life on a regular basis, I don't see why it would suddenly cause them to go into mlc.
I did give my husband's running away persona a bit more thought and I have another theory about it. At least lately, he tells me I can have a divorce if I want one more often than not when I am expressing my dissatisfaction with the situation. He doesn't want to hear me say that and maybe part of him really wants to divorce me at that moment because he thinks it will get him away from the guilt trip he feels I am laying on him, but also he KNOWS once he starts talking about divorce, I WILL adamantly tell him I don't want one. And maybe that is actually what he wants to hear from me, that I accept him and will continue with him and not leave him. I say that because the one and only time in all the years we have been married (just a couple months ago) that I actually said I wanted a divorce he exploded so angry saying he was ready to do a long list of crazy things to stop me, that I just broke down crying and told him I will never do that again as it was like nothing I had ever seen from him before and I could tell it was too painful for him to even hear me suggest it. I think he wants to stay with me and keep me but he just can't face me being unhappy. So I think maybe the running away is not because he wants to get away from me, but rather that he wants to shut down my criticism and instead for me to give him reassurance that all is ok. As I said it is a pattern we fell into from the beginning of our marriage and maybe it actually brings him comfort that we do it.
