I look at it like this. Dropping the rope - what does that really mean? Is it that we just give up and move on? With respect, it's easier for you and Sotto as you have had the dreaded D and you can now look for something new, in the probably knowledge that your other half ain't coming back.
To me, dropping the rope, means that I do everything for myself and GAL (in my own way) and I don't contact W. I don't see it as giving up hope. The alternative, which I'm willing to be corrected upon,is that I decide to throw caution to the wind and start dating. That, to me, seems to be what you're kinda suggesting. I don't want to date, because I know that if I did start seeing somebody, and W decided to return, I would drop them faster than a hot potato. So, I'm all out of ideas as to what else you suggest I should do to drop the rope.
As for chalking off another week and looking for signs, that's me journaling. I have nobody else I can talk with about this. My friends are 230 miles away; I work with some of the most patronising, self promoting, facile people you can imagine and we have a new MD who seems to be hell bent on trying to get rid of us all. I chalk off weeks, so that I can look forward to spending time with the people I love - my children.
Oh, and while I'm here, W has done another one of those dating site things again (left open on a tab, again, on my S's tablet), this one called 'Plenty of Fish'. As before,she hasn't completed her details, replied to messages or uploaded photos, so, if this is some kind of goading mechanism for me to leap in to begging mode, I'm not.
To be brutally honest, I am well and truly pi$$ed off with life right now and it suxs. I am doing my gym routine five days a week, with positive improvements, and I have the kids all next week for the first part of the holidays. Oh, W decided to spew at me about that as well, as she said I should 'consult' with her when I'm picking my holidays, as my SD will now have to catch the bus to college, because W is taking the kids to her parents. So, that's my fault then, right? No, it's not, and I'm not going to have an infantile fight with her over that bollox.
I think I have done as much as I can to distance myself from W and let her make her own mistakes and only when I'm good and ready will I throw in the towel (by christ, I'm so close right now) and sail off down the river. Right now, I quite fancy just taking off and forgetting everything. The only things keeping me here right now is my children, who I love so very much.
Hi HTM
I'm not normally so indignant or arrogant, but this past four weeks has been particularly trying.
I think that W's do have a six sense. I sometimes think that they are like cats; toying with us like baubles on a Christmas tree, waiting to pounce and then letting us off the hook for another go.
As for divine intervention, well, I'm not religious, but if some higher being has plans for me, I wish he/she would show their hand, as I'm really tired of this poker game and I want to cash out or win the jackpot.
Yes, seeing my nephew was a shock and just goes to show that wherever you are, if somebody really wants to find you, they will.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
