I don't know, but I know. She has to be involved with this guy on some level. Over the weekend she decided she would go to counseling. Today I ask her about a specific date regarding seeing the counselor and her response was "I also called a mediator. I'd like us to meet with one." When I suggested that we should see the counselor first, her response was, "I haven't made the appointment I just called for a consult."
Its clear she's in a different place than I am. I'm going to see the therapist with her just to see if she'll admit that she's having an affair.