txhubby is right. I worked on reconnecting before I knew about the affair. I learned stuff but it was ineffective. You have to either confirm it or assume she is in an affair. Snooping is controversial but I did it and don't regret it. Be ready for it to svck though.
As for counseling, I'd still go but it's not advised when you aren't on the same page. I'd have an agenda for it and not let it just be an hour to complain.
- m and ww in 30s - s4 - m 11 yrs, t12 -ilybinilwy ~5/16 + request for OM - bd 7/16, confirm ea and strongly suspected pa - 9/16 ww claimed to have broken contact with om
