During the entire crisis, they are facing their issues. They go back to the time when they were emotionally stunted. The issues could be not being recognized for their accomplishments, abuse of any kind, parents have a golden child who can do no wrong, but continually criticize the crisis adult as a child, abandonment at that age, bullying and the list could go on and on...just as the individual is unique, so are their issues as well as how they deal (or don't deal) w/their crisis. They need to return to that period time to face, those issues, accept that they weren't at fault, possibly facing the authority figure (mom, dad, family member, priest, minister, teacher, etc.) and discussing it w/them. Sometimes, that person has died and then the MLCer will have a difficult time facing the issues, but w/the help of a professional, they can do it...but they have to decide whether or not to do so.
The issues are not generated in the MLC. They are stuffed down feelings of many years ago and they are what bubble up to the surface when something triggers the crisis. They are already within that person, just waiting to bubble up. The feelings that he/she has for the spouse are then stuffed way down into the soul and he/she can have moments of clarity, but those loving feelings will be in their soul until the crisis ends. Some make it thru the crisis and others remain stuck.
I'm referring to what Cadet wrote above. I'm just wondering why it necessarily is that some sort of childhood issues would precipitate a midlife crisis, when there may actually be present issues in their life of an adult nature that they simply snap about at some point. It just seems to me to be making excuses to blame it on childhood rather than face up to the reality of their life immediately before mlc.
