New and need help.

[RBG80]

Hi Guys,
I'm really lost!!!
If I may, let me start at the beginning...

My Wife and I have been together for 18 years and married for 10. We have a little boy who is three and a half. She walked out on me 4 weeks ago stating that she is no longer in love with me.

More background for you...
We're relatively young (me at 36 and my Wife at 32) and have been with each other all our adult lives. Our Son was conceived via IVF and my Wife had HUGE post natal depression and continues to have ongoing medication (but no further therapy). I am also on anti-depressants.
The reasons stated by my Wife for leaving is that I am controlling and never listen - I guess she'd just had enough of it. I must admit that I have been controlling, however part of my issues is that I was trying to control things like a family budget etc. I do have control issues which stem from when my Mother died (I was 19 and felt that I lost control of everything and I guess that I have since tried to ensure that I was in control - albeit to the detriment of my Wife).
I completely admit that I have failed to listen to my Wife. I have also failed to pay enough attention to my marriage and taken my Wife for granted (as she has done with me). I feel that life has just gotten in the way of our marriage.
I am overweight and this has had an impact on my self esteem and my willingness to socialize - My Wife wanted to have more of a social life, but never really expressed this to me during the marriage. She also started to drink regularly in the last year (not a huge amount, but on a regular basis) - Due to her Father and Sister being alcoholics, I was quite concerned about this and was very judgmental (which would have also compounded the controlling issues).
My Wife would spend hours on her phone on social media - anything to escape her own life, I guess. She has assured me that there is no-one else and I do believe her.
I have no-where to go and she has moved out to her Mom's, however she has been fantastic with our little boy - allowing me 50% access.
I have asked her to come to marriage counseling (Relate) with me but she has stated that she "would just be saying that same thing to a Councillor" and refused. I have arranged some sessions just for me and will continue with these on my own. She has offered to sit with my Son on the days that I am scheduled to have him so that I can attend my sessions.
I am trying to only respond to her contact and not contact her (although this is quite difficult when we have a Son and have to communicate).

What confuses me so much is that 2 months before our break up, my Wife was telling a mutual (girl) friend how much of a great guy I am and how lucky she was. The week prior to her leaving we had the week off work and had a lovely time together. It was my Birthday and she made a lot of effort in arranging a lovely day and a trip out to London (we live in the UK). I have no idea why she would be like this is she was thinking of leaving. It may also be worth noting that our sex life was very active (often initiated by her).

So what have I done since she left?...
I have cried a LOT! I have also had some seriously dark thoughts, I have been scared, angry and positive. I have lost weight from not eating and I have also had a moment of clarity when realizing how my Wife would have felt living with me and my controlling ways. I have joined a gym and become a little more sociable (although this feels horrible).

I'm trying to push myself to break out of my comfort zone and try new things, however I've been with my Wife since I was 17 and know no different (its not like I can revert back to my pre-relationship self).

I feel so lost, so frightened and just want my Wife back. I want to acknowledge the issues that broke our marriage and work on these together to build things back up.

Guys (and gals), any advise, comments or feedback would be greatly appreciated - I have been reading through some of the previous threads which has helped.

Look forward to hearing from you all.