I have s15 this week and when I picked him up he was a grouch. I gave him a few open-ended q's of how he was doing, how was his weekend (it was b a yutiful weather here). He wasn't talking. So I gave him space.
Then he yelled "you have to get me out of acting class!" I signed him up for the acting class bc he is quiet, this should stretch him in a positive way, and there should be more girls than boys in the class.
I asked him what was wrong, how I could help, do you want me to talk to the teacher, etc. and he just kept saying "no" in a loud voice. I stopped.
Although it was not a good encounter, here is why I think it is a positive change: s15's previous episodes with me all included his yelling at me for putting him in this new school and he has no friends. Now it seems he has accepted going to the new school and has switched gears to have me get him out of something he is having trouble with (acting class). I'm not sure yet how best to deal with this.
Ok, one more story - s15 came up to me and asked "if he was adopted". His sister d22 is adopted, but our other 3 kids were done the old-fashioned way . But I didn't connect why he was asking me the question. So I give him my faith story on his being born. After d19 was born ExW was done having kids, and she would not budge on this. So for 4 years I dropped the subject with ExW and I prayed. I wanted a son, I wanted another child. Proof is on your mom's tummy you can see the C-section scar still there.
ExW gave me 1 night (it was either Thanksgiving or Christmas I believe, no one told me there would be math on this board!), if I promised to get a vasectomy (sometimes in battle you have to make uncomfortable choices ). So I agreed. S15 was born the following September. The bad part was that bc of several mis-aimed spinal injections ExW developed fibromyalgia after this.
I thought more clearly after s15's initially asking the question of being adopted, and later I asked him who brought this up with him. D22 his sister taunted him by saying he was adopted (which is a great thing btw!) A sibling battle I didn't need to get involved in. Though I may want to bring it up with d22, and see if she has some bad feelings about this.
I stopped.
. But I didn't connect why he was asking me the question. So I give him my faith story on his being born. After d19 was born ExW was done having kids, and she would not budge on this. So for 4 years I dropped the subject with ExW and I prayed. I wanted a son, I wanted another child. Proof is on your mom's tummy you can see the C-section scar still there.
). So I agreed. S15 was born the following September. The bad part was that bc of several mis-aimed spinal injections ExW developed fibromyalgia after this.