Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 5)

[JRuss]

I was talking to my Dad last night and telling him how tired I am. I've been fighting for 2 years now, and at no point in any of all that has there been anything but a downward trajectory. Yes, she's moved very slowly at times, but there's never been a time when I've felt like "Hey, things are better now than they were back when _______". All new developments have been developments involving increased distance, less connection, etc.

I'm not sure I see the point of continuing to "stand for the marriage" or whatever else we try to tell ourselves we're doing. The woman just doesn't want to be with me and doesn't want to live a life that doesn't have this new set of chapters she sees herself writing on her own, with someone new, etc. Yeah, be the best me I can be. I get it. But a lighthouse is a pretty lonely thing to be if no one even wants to look at it.