So in a nut shell it's now been 6 months of pseudo physical separation. I say pseudo as she's been in and out of the house as she's been staying in temporary accommodation/OM until a permanent place comes available - that changes this month.
Personally I have grown a lot in the last 6 months, in faith, in GAL activities, in physical strength and in my relationship with my daughter. Snooping has all but stopped - every now and then I'm tempted as I'm curious where the R with the OM stands... wondering if it's starting to break down, but I know I won't get those answers.
I still have struggles though, mainly around sleep (comes and goes) focus at work, trying to maintain cool around W when she's at home and enforcing healthy boundaries - the last has come a long way but find that I haven't been strong enough at vocalizing them with her.
The toughest lately has been with D10, she's confiding her concerns with me a lot, particularly about her worries that we will get a divorce. I try and comfort her and say that we aren't talking about that right now, and that we both love her but you can tell its very much on her mind on a daily basis. She has very little connection with W which makes me sad as I would like for them to have a healthy relationship.
When this all started I thought I'd wait a few months - here I am over a year since BD1 and 6 months since separation and while there is temptation at times to end it and move on I'm in no place to do that today.
On a different note... there was an interesting piece this morning on Catholic Radio how in the 70's there was less than 5% of non-religious in the US and today there's 25%, they correlated that with the divorce rate in the 80's being at the highest and the kids as a result growing up in broken families were less likely to have a foundation of faith. I fear that for my daughter, she's strong in faith today but she's about to enter some of her critical formation years.
I can honestly say that the last 6 months have prepared me for whatever is next - if the BD of D comes I'm as ready as I can be, if she wants to reconcile I'm also ready as I feel I now have the patience and faith to handle it gracefully and openly. If indecision persists, I will continue on my path to build a better stronger me.
Me: 40 W: 45 T: 13, M: 11 1 D: 9
Suspect A 6/15 ILBINILWY 8/15, and 3/16 EA/PA Discovered 3/16 EA admitted 3/16 W Moved out 4/16 W opens R talk and says A over 1/17
