A WW? (5)

[lt0402]

FG, yeah, a bit of stress last night but nowhere near as bad as earlier in this thing. To be honest, it kind of rolls off now. The only thing that's got me cycling this morning is her comment about how if I'd given her space at the start of this thing we would be back together as a family. Fairly certain that was her trying to hurt me though.

The MC we went to see was extremely validating of my W and not me. Effectively we came out of there with me as the bad guy. I'm sure that if W used her as an IC she would validate Ws feelings and push her further away from our MR. With that said though, if it would help W to find peace then I would be for it. It really would be best for D if W could figure out and fix her issues.

I'm also a bit hazy on the psychological evaluation, but I'd assumed the purpose would be to evaluate W for controlling/anger issues. Effectively highlight that her having sole custody of D would not be beneficial for D. My interpretation, but am open to thoughts from others who have suggested.

CT, am going to read up on Dissoi logioi today. Will give you my thoughts a bit later. W was a business major in college, but always had a leaning towards journalism.

I really appreciate your comments CT. I do love my D and would do anything for her. Everything I do now is to better myself for hers and my benefit. Our R is so much stronger now than it was, and I realize that I truly have missed out by letting our R weaken over the past year before BD. That part makes me hurt, but I can control the trajectory of our R now and in the future. I'll never let that happen again. Thank you again for your kind words brother!

Only journaling for this morning is I went running early. Ws words around giving her space at the start of this weighed on me. I'm guessing that's what she wanted when she said it to me. Had a short cry because of it in the car on the way to work. But I'm choosing not to let it weigh on me.

Meet with the L tomorrow. Be interested in what they say. W mentioned that she's working hard to make the custody agreement so we have the same time we do now with D. I'm reading that to mean it will give her sole custody and I see D in the evenings b/t 630-830 at her place and get D every other weekend. Again, not ok w/ that. W even said that we probably will be in agreement this week. I'm sure that's not the case and I'm buckling down for some messiness w/ the custody piece. Guess we'll find out this week.

In a good place right now. Bracing for some fireworks around custody and S agreement. It's silly that W thinks I am party to the "arguments" occurring over every little thing in our house. That's her circus and I'll continue to address as appropriate. At this point, while I'd still be open to R, the thought is a lot less enticing to me. No way we could do it w/o W doing the work and I'm doubtful she ever will. Preparing to provide stability to my Ds life post W.