coly - wow thank you for your reply. I did not even consider that my textbook answers might be some of what doesn't work. though at this point it feels like nothing works, i'll keep it in mind.
lt0402- unfortunately I had to work all day saturday, so no football.
nygal - you're right, my W doesn't understand herself and frankly I'm so tired of trying to understand her.
W leaves for vacation for a week. I'm so glad I do not have to deal with her. She is exhausting. I called W tonight and her VM was full. sent a text "wanted to leave VM. your mailbox is full" a few minutes later W replied "should be clear now" so i called and left a VM for D, and told W to "be safe". I didn't tell w to have a good trip cus frankly, I hope she doesn't have a good trip. The whole back and forth and push and pull is draining.
met with friends today for a beer event, that took up most of my day. saturday I worked from 9am-9pm. friday night went to a baseball game, after the game they had fireworks, it was awesome! then walked around downtown for oktoberfest and had some beer. overall good busy weekend. can't complain.
no idea when W and D comes back from vacation. I'm not going to ask. I'm assuming a week. I don't really know. But I feel so relieved, and extremely happy. I guess I like not having them around...and I feel somewhat terrible for saying that but it's so much better for my mental and emotional health. Right this second I'm not sure what I'm working toward with them. I don't know why I would go want to go back to my M, even a new one with W. I guess it's good i don't have to make any decisions. I miss having a best friend, and someone to share everything with. I also miss the physical intimacy of going to bed with someone or holding hands. But I don't need my W for that. Not sure if i'm detaching or if I'm just moving forward or what but every day that goes by I'm happier without W. I wonder if that's what she feels too. definitely would debate on going back should the situation arise. No longer a definite YES.
