Betsey, I'll admit that for a few days I was chewing on your message thinking "No, I don't want to forgive him! He's a jerk and he keeps on dishing out hurt and I'm never going to get over it!"
But then he dished a big hurt to my D13 and I was so angry my teeth were chattering. And I sent him a very restrained message that he needed to STOP NOW, and then I let D13 know that what he was doing was self-serving and manipulative. Because I wanted her to not be gas-lighted. And then I withdrew from the issue.
And now I see that my strength wasn't in being angry at the past. It was in being able to see what his behavior was and how it was impacted my precious girl and in having the restraint to not unleash a tirade but to get straight to the point.
So, ok. Maybe it's time to dig deep on that stuff so I have the strength to be effective.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
