Maybs - Pt 4 - where to now?

[maybs]

Thank you Coly.

It has been an okay day. And I've been doing pretty good.

SIL and I had dinner and went shopping together earlier. We had a nice chat about W. She said some really interesting things and told me some stuff about their family dynamic that I wasn't aware of before regarding W's mom and what happened around her leaving them and how she acted when she returned and everything.

She also told me she thinks that my W has an undiagnosed personality disorder and hopes that the fact that she's reaching out to a psychologist means she will get help with that.

She also told me that ow fosters kids and that my W isn't capable of handling that, which I have always known we discussed that when we were together. That we could never foster kids becuase she recognizes that she doesn't have the capability to deal with foster kids and know how to take care of them.

SIL also told me that she doesn't understand how ow and W are still together because W is straight up pretending to be interested in a bunch of activities that she has never shown any interest in.

I guess that a few weeks ago when they had a dinner for my W's birthday she brought ow and my niece kept saying happy birthday (my name) and W and ow were both getting really really upset about it. like noticeably angry that she kept saying my name.

SIL also said that she thinks that W has been combative with me to pick fights with me in order to try to reassure herself that she's doing the right thing and the fact that I'm not fighting back makes her just throw her little tantrums.

SIL also said that something happened to me about a month after Cassie left and she likes me much more now. I told her that she needs to understand that's not something that just magically happened because W left it's something that I've been working super hard on. She voiced concerns that if we were to get back together I would lose this new found me and I told her no. I was honest and told her that at this point I cannot say with 100% certainty that even if our D is finalized tomorrow that I wouldn't be willing to get back together in the future but that there would be a lot of things that would have to happen for that to be possible.

I don't know I always have a ton of fun with her and on some levels it's nice to hear that I'm not the only one that thinks W is acting crazy and doesn't understand the consequences of D. She also said that after tomorrow I need to just stop talking her completely to get her to see all she's losing.

I'm not sure. I just don't know what to think. I don't want this but I still completely think that there's no stopping her. I think that this has to happen for her to stop being able to blame her problems on me, for her to even have a chance of taking a step back and looking at herself and not me.

This just all feels awful. There's just nothing I can do but work on me and stand back and watch as she implodes and throws her tantrum.