A WW? (5)

[lt0402]

Journaling. CT and FG appreciate your thoughts and will respond a little later if that's ok.

Woke up this am, went out to grab a cup of coffee and then came home and did the weeds in the front yard. I'd been not doing this the past two weeks as I was trying to let Ws anxiety level drop. she said she would handle but has not. i hammer it out, get down the Halloween decorations, and clean the garage before Ds friend leaves and we head to the park downtown.

3 awesome hours with D this morning hunting Pokemon. Overcast day, not too hot, not too cold. Pretty much perfect. D and I had a blast running back and for on this island. Found a bunch of new Pokemon and D figured out some stuff we hadn't known how to do before. Amazing to see how sharp she is and I can see her confidence building daily. Awesome to watch her changing into a strong, confident girl!

Came home for lunch and D finished a school project afterwards. I hit the grocery store bc I didn't go last week and was running low. W told me on Saturday that I needed to stop eating Ds and her strawberries as they were running out. So petty, but I let it slide and got my own today. I really don't know what W does during the day while I'm at work. She says she's busy but she doesn't do the yard work she berates me for doing. She doesn't clean the house as thoroughly as she used to. She takes care of nothing for me at this point. She's pretty much like a nasty roommate who refuses to pay rent. It is liberating doing everything for myself though. I am no longer reliant on her for anything. She puts D on bus and gets her off bus, but I've no doubt I can handle that in the future as well. Matter of fact, W just makes things more difficult and less streamlined around here as her moods permeate the atmosphere and weigh on D and I.

Well, D finishes her project and her and I head out to the park near our house for a couple hours before dinner. Do some Pokemon, creek bed exploring (D is loving going off the paths and exploring), tree climbing, etc and have a really good time. Great follow up to our awesome morning! D is now less scared of doing things that are outside of her comfort zone, which is what I've been working towards. She's picked up Ws over-cautious approach to things and I'm slowly walking it back. Building her confidence and understanding of certain things she's cautious about has worked wonders. Really proud of her!

W just gave D her bath. D stubbed toe and her and W snuggled for a bit. I talked to D today about starting to take showers instead of baths. I think we are overdue for moving onto showering. May not be a big deal, but I think W is holding on a bit there.

I also asked D how things were going with me. How was my listening to her...great. How was my keeping promises with her....great. What could I be doing better....only thing is listening to mommy better. D is consistent each week. I don't know how to explain to her that the reactions of W won't get better. Comes back to getting her in front of an IC.

Overall, I think my R with D is going great. I'm happy and she seems to be happy. W seems unhappy, but not my circus. I asked if she wanted coffe this am. She ignored me. I approached her and asked again, nicely, if she'd like coffe. She just looked at me and said "obviously I don't". Really doesn't bother me now. I just won't let her disrespect me by giving me no answer. I am not fearful of standing up to her.

More time with D now before bed. W wants to talk tonight about the list I gave her. I'll compromise but I will not fold to her demands. What I want is what's right. I'll always stand for what is right. That's one of the more important things I've learned through all of this. True to myself and my D.