Focus on Me and my Boys 8

[Rose888]

V,

I don't disagree with anything you said. I think you misunderstood what I was saying. (And I might have misunderstood what Jim was saying.)

In the part of his post that I bolded, Jim said that what you do to work on yourself and what you do to work on the marriage are very different things.

The implication was that working on yourself and working on the marriage are in conflict, and that's the part I was questioning.

I think working on yourself is the one constant that holds true regardless of whether your spouse is walkaway or wayward, and whether you are in LRT or piecing. I don't see it as conflicting in any way with working on the marriage.

I was curious about why Jim thought they were in conflict. (And maybe he doesn't and I misunderstood the part I quoted.)

I am not in any way blaming anyone here for their wayward spouse's behavior and choices. Nor am I saying that if we all work on ourselves, all of our marriages will be saved. (I just happen to think that working on ourselves makes us better able to handle whatever happens in our marriages and gives our marriage the best chance of succeeding in terms of our side of the street. If the other side of the street has collapsed into a sinkhole, obviously our side being clean is not the major issue.)

I was simply curious about what I read as a claim that working on yourself and working on the marriage are very different from each other and potentially in conflict.