I get it man. Right now as hopeless as it feels, I feel that I have to try for the sake of my daughter. My wife and I don't have the finances to maintain our home without each others salary so wed have to sell the house and move. My daughter already suffers from anxiety and I'm afraid that the divorce and move would really send her over the edge. So I have to at least try.
If my wife is hellbent on divorcing, regardless of the consequences, one day she'll have to explain to my daughter why she didn't at least try.
I'll survive and move on. I'm a fighter. My only concern is my little girl.
Go ahead and try, I did. You have to have a bottom line though, where you realize that R is not going to work. I am really serious there is only a 2% chance, this board is all about building up hope for a R - you will read stuff that if you only 'do a 180' and 'work on yourself for you' or something, maybe some magic will happen where your W has a lobotomy and decides to turn it around. Realize that if you are on this board, most likely you are already f***ed. Go into it that way, decide on what your bottom lines are - and then when you hit that bottom line, turn your attention to protecting your assets and your D's best interests, and then moving on.
I held on for too long, and it caused way too much damage to me personally. It took text messages where my W was calling me a m***f***er straight to my face where I realized that it would be a miracle if I could turn that relationship around. I wish I would have just decided from the first day of separation that I was moving on and not even tried to work on the relationship.
The process of working yourself and becoming a better person, maintaining your self worth and protecting your self esteem, children and financial assets. And the process of 'trying to win your wife back'. They are the EXACT same process.
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
