Focus on Me and my Boys 8

[J5K]

I know this has been quite the roller coaster for you. But there must have been a reason you went through hell and back getting psychiatric evaluations and figuring out who the kids time is best spent with. Even as of recent you expressed co corn over neglectful the parenting.

Now you feel it was just criticism. And she should have custody of the kids?

Well I tried to implement tough love. Obviously that did not work. IDK if anything would have worked. I do know that when I initially had my transfer going things were different and more positive. Not saying she and I would have been back together but I could have taken things day by day and developed a better R with her than a high conflict one we have now. I am not being hard on myself, I am only owning up to my 50%.

I do not think I ever said that she was neglectful. I just stated things the boys told me and what others have observed. Look, there are low income families that I am sure aren't the best parents but they are still parents and they do the best they can, good, bad or indifferent.

We went through he// and back because both STBX and I were pushing and pulling at each other. In the end, no one is happy with the outcome. As I stated earlier, what I want is all 7 of us living under the same roof. That isn't going to happen, so now what I want is the boys to be in a stable environment no matter who has them. Psychologist even stated that if we both lived in the same city she would have recommended 50-50.

The reality is STBX will never work a full time job to contribute financially the way others would think is normal.

I'm honestly confused as heck, maybe it's not for me to get. It seems as if you went through he// and back doing these psyche evaluations , because you really felt the best place for these kids were in the home with you. That's what I read all along. You fought hard to have them be with you, here in America and now you've suddenly decided the kids should live in toto to with their mom.

Like I said, maybe it's not for me to get. But given your comment on your last name seeing it as some sort of hope, and all this talk of reconciliation when she hasn't indicated at all she is going down that path .....

I am so so worried you are making this choice because you think it ups your chances of getting back together.

I have no expectation of getting back together with STBX. That is clear, understood and accepted by me. I am still hopeful but the choice is hers.