Cherry, filing, moving. Gaining strength

[Cherry]

Thank you. I don't want to appear as though I am completely passive. But that's how I see it grl, it's manners. Any house guests I have love to stay at my home for how relaxed and taken care of they are. I always say to people mi case es su casa. Help yourself to whatever. Earlier on in the sitch, he wouldn't eat when I cooked and he didn't want to appear to be taken, and he saw it as persuing. I made it crystal clear to him that was not the case, and to think of how I ever treat a guest, I offer food if I cook. It would quite frankly feel as though I am being spiteful to not ask. Plus it is a take it or leave it, it's no skin off my nose if he chooses not too. I make sure that I stick to our normal eating time routine, partly for routine for S- and if he isn't home, we eat anyway. When S was a baby and I found myself here about a year and a half ago. I would give S his food and quite often not eat or eat a piece of toast. It did feel then like our world revolved around him, and if he wasn't there- the world stopped. This time I do feel stronger. It's a take it or leave it, and our life carries on. Maybe it's the fact I've been here so long, or maybe it's because I have to be that much stronger because S is now older and more aware.

Routine is something I am aware of keeping the same for S. Any reading I've done around any changes in a toddlers life is to keep a child's routine as normal as possible, as that is kind of safety and security to them. So I shall keep up with that, and make sure we do plenty of fun things, I want him to know that he always has his mama for security and love.

Thank you CT and grl for saying I'm doing well. I've been a bit hard on myself for feeling a little sad the past few days. I guess to give myself a compliment, I haven't had it stop me from getting by and keeping on with my life, nor have I changed my approach to wh in any way.

I am toying with the idea of asking him when he is moving out. But I don't want to in any way have it seem as though I am pushing him one way or another, knowing him he would blame me at a later date and say I pushed him to going. But it's about 2/3 weeks ago that he told me he had secured a property and already paid a months rent, so if this is the case he would have signed the tenancy and have the keys. I don't think I want to be at home when he moves, and I don't think S should see it neither. I know we may have a bit more calm without seeing him coming and going, but it will all seem very real then, and I'm dreading how S will be. He's bad enough now for getting upset as to the whereabouts of his father.