Thanks AndrewP and Job! Thank you both for your congratulations! Unfortunately no one is available to celebrate with me this weekend, even D is out at a party! :0(. Like you say Job, I really hope one day I will be able to celebrate with H!
Job - I've had a look at the male depression thread now and I found if really interesting. Looking back and after writing the timeline of events since we got married I think my H started showing signs of mild depression after he had to resigned from his job before he was pushed. Coupled with the fact that it took much longer than expected to find another one really knocked his confidence sad self esteem. To make matters worse at the time in order to claim job seekers allowance he had to go to the benefits office every two weeks to prove he was applying for jobs and they treated him like a layabout who didn't want to work.
I really should have supported him more and instead I took advantage of him being at home at expected him to do all the chores. :0(
Also I think H has always had self esteem issues and I think that's why he spent a lot of his time by himself. I remember asking one of his friends years ago why he wasn't married (way before we got together!) and apparently it was because he didn't ever feel he had anything to offer anyone. That's why none of this makes sense or maybe it makes more sense....?
Your right about H probably not wanting to see me and D upset although we have both been very upbeat, especially D, whenever we see him. I think one of the other reasons he hasn't been in contact could be because him and his friends have been arranging to go away on a golfing trip during the Ryder Cup. So they play golf and then watch the game whilst drinking copious amounts of alcohol! It's been booked for nearly a year so I can imagine how excited they are. A lot of work goes into it as they get into teams repressing the US and Europe and play against each other. They even have team shirts! I really hope H has a fantastic time!
AndrewP - you are right the silence is deafening and sometimes the message is loud and clear - 'you aren't important anymore!' :0(. That's hard to swallow..
I've given up the tactics and games to make him notice me. The NC is really for me because it was upsetting me whenever I texted him and he wouldn't respond for hours/days or when he came over it hurt all over again when he left. However I must admit I hope it helps him to miss me just a little bit. Also with this promotion a month ago I would have posted it to FB, although I don't post very much and he doesn't have an account, in the hope that one if his friends would see it and tell him. But now I'm just not really that bothered.
Anyway I hope you all have a lovely weekend! Just realised I have no wine in the house so can't celebrate in my own either! It is better this way for fear of sending drunken messages to H especially as I don't have anyone to restrain me!
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')