was or what 8

[roist]

Without dragging up everything about an inappropriate friend, I do have some journaling to do about yesterday. The short version of this story is that throughout my saga, this guy was present. At the beginning very much so but really rarely this last year. I watched this R closely and whereas inappropriate it didn't depass the limits of good friends.However it was my motivation to snap out of depression and want to save my M. ( you see being left behind does work, so DB should too..). I weathered that and it has been dormant for six months.

Now for yesterday.W told me she went to his new place for a tea. She did not have to tell me as I would not have known. I still didn't like it. I hesitated between saying nothing or something.The voices and opinions of this forum filled my head. I decided to speak my mind. I told her I didn't like her spending time alone with another man. She countered if my problem was in general or specifically this one. I said it was a general statement and yes especially about this one. When asked why I gave a few examples but kept them about her not him.

Just before deciding to say something my heart pounded as I potentially was starting a life changing conversation. I decided it would gnaw at me at prevent my sleeping so it was either get out of bed or say something.

My W implied that others have moved on from imagining things about this guy and moved on, including my friend. My friend divorced his w largely due to this guy and yes has moved on,with a girlfriend now.. Anyway I didn't want to argue about that so I said I wasn't saying about what went on, I said I didn't like it. She made a halfhearted comment that she would try to avoid seeing him alone, but wasn't going to tell him she couldn't meet if unless someone else there. I was not wanting to control her, so I just said we all can just choose what we do.

I left it at that, but W came back to me to state that he was a friend, and he was seeing someone. I already knew this as it is the ex wife of my friend!! I think W only found out yesterday.I did not ask who and it was not volunteered.

Knowing that I should probably have done nothing. At least for now. It is something to be brought up WHEN we reconcile. Haha. I didn't DO NOTHING and I didn't go down the boundary route. What should I have done?

Today things are a little strained but OK. Plus it is my sons birthday party. Yahoo. Was up at 6.30 with him as he had to be ready when his guests arrived.... at 14:30!! Went to sleep after 1 so tired. I was invited out this evening so I will be out tonight. I was looking forward to that but now I am wrecked.