The Fight For Self III

[CT1118]

The fear within. I think fear is pretty healthy and pretty normal. We are all built with a "fight or flight" sequence. I am not going to solve fear with a single post or even a series of posts, but this post is called "The Fight for Self" for a reason, so I will give another honest post about my"self".

I know with my newbie experience, I was not sure it was fear I wanted to lose when I arrived, I wanted stuff fixed - and right away! I think so many come here looking for an equation as if this was algebraic... If your WAS did this/You did this X You say this/You act like this = all is right as rain.

The idea of coming to DB looking for such a solution seems really normal. It is normal. I mean, no one calls it out like that, but so many words are said to arrive at "What the h3ll am I supposed to do?". Clothes off, in front of the classroom, but here in DB world, unlike the allegorical nightmare, the class is not laughing. The class gets up and someone gives you their shirt, someone has extra pants in their locker, someone sees you shaking with reality and gives you a hug. Then another hug. Then someone hands you a textbook and says "you are part of this class now, here is your homework, catch up". Then someone tells you they are wearing borrowed clothes too, which someone gave to them, from which someone gave to them...more hugs are followed by stares of honesty. Followed by words of strength. Your fear can make you feel like you are being hazed for having it, but then you realize it is just an older sibling telling you like it is. They want you strong, they need you strong, they need you, they need you too. They need you to face your fear, because once you realize it is fear, you realize they need you too, they need you strong, because this ain't a classroom you were naked in front of, this is virtual family; and its bigger than your fear.

All of us, every single human on earth, is born with a "fight or flight" impulse. It is survival instinct. Some of us lock into one or the other all the time, most of us will be a mix. Some full grown men turn on a bathroom light, see a spider and leap, some little girls can go through same thing and immediately respond by killing the spider. Some, will go through this, do nothing other than look, and both the spider and the person move forward without incident.

The truth as I see it, we all came here in fear. Yet, some of us came here hoping to fly from fear. Some of us came here hoping to learn how to fight fear. Most of us did not call why we came here, fear. If you are reading this...if you are reading this and think you are not fighting or flying, you have either been here long enough to learn how to survive on your own, or you are in denial of your"self". But you are not, not if you are reading this - you had to dig deep into my posts to find this, so you are in want. In want of something about your fear.

Your spouse leaving you, for whatever the reason, is scaring the living $hit out of you right now. It's ok to feel that. I can say from experience. If you seek help from people here, and you LISTEN AND DO what the positive advice suggests two things will happen: 1. a person or persons with more experience and more time "in" will adopt you and your sitch, and if you listen to them, you will learn how to improve yourself and face your fear. Similarly, your contemporaries will make "misery loves company" a very real statement, and in time misery will become support and renewed outlook. 2. You will get better, feel better, and be better. You will get better, feel better, and be better if you follow sound advice, believe in yourself, and trust in your own ability to take care of you, to believe in you, and to be you. Shout that from a mountain, one that you built for you.

Fear remains. Did you know you have a choice on how to respond to it?

Still in the fight.