Fade, if it were me in her shoes id want that phone as far away from me as possible. Every communication she has had, I believe, has been through that phone. Those communications were at least on Facebook (not recoverable apparently) and text message (recoverable to some degree). After I confronted her in August she may have switched to some other method but it would have been on that phone.
With that said, I do live in a fault state, though it's very onerous to prove adultery. I do have evidence of at least a very explicit EA before the BD in May. W has been careful to keep marching the date of the BD backwards though. Believe she is now at December being the BD. It's insane. Other evidence I have is post BD, though L says since we are still M it's still adultery. I have yet to give all this to L, but at this point I think I have to in case custody gets nasty. I hate my W for bringing me to the point that I need to share this crap.
Finances are still intertwined. New phone was a free upgrade, per her, though I'm not sure I buy that. I watch the finances like a hawk and have a plan should I need to quickly protect that aspect of things. The only thing I need to push on W is her giving me access to this other card she has opened. Both of our Ls are coming out of our savings.
I'm lucky that I have family in town and an understanding boss for the custody stuff. I've shored up where my family can help and verified flexibility from my boss. I can manage having D for an extended period. Worse comes to worse I'll just find a more flexible job. W believes she can find a job working from 9:00 to 3:30 (Ds school schedule) that will pay her six figures. Best of everything! Not sure how she doesn't have a clue this doesn't work.
Not familiar with RFR but will read up on it. Sounds like W would bridge the gap of work and school schedule. Then I would take D for the remainder? I'll familiarize myself. Appreciate your insight as always fade!!!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
