Focus on Me and my Boys 8

[J5K]

Well, it has been an emotional week of he//. Mediation is done. Neither of us are happy. Here is the rundown.

I have custody 265 days and she has them 130 days.
The boys visit in Toronto once a month, mostly holiday weekends and STBX and I meet halfway to exchange. She also gets a second weekend each month but she has to do her parenting time in Michigan. My L thinks that will never happen. STBX gets the boys almost all summer. I get them 1 week each month, June, July and August and get 3 weekends each summer but I have to get them from STBX and drop them off again.

She pillaged all of our cash. Took half my 401K, and keeps all the money that I overpaid her family. Mediator said that was cheaper than going to trial and paying spousal support. So I guess I am lucky from that standpoint, no spousal support.

Once L fees are paid and CCs are paid we split the rest of the equity from the home that is in a trust.

In the end, I am left with maybe 30 to 50K in cash and the boys most of the time since they will be in school here.

Mediator asked how we got to the D and I gave him the story, he could not believe it and figured STBX out right away. I told him I still love her and don't want this. My L chimed in also and said that I waited a long time for STBX. Mediator said take a break for a year or two and maybe you can reconcile.

So in the end, STBX will have a house in Canada 9 months out of the year with no one living in it and most of our cash. I have the boys and some cash. STBX has to pay me child support of $50 per month which L says to not even expect her to pay.

I had so many emotions running through me during the mediation, anger, rage, hatred, sadness and I am sure a lot more.

Next day I was somewhat fine, I felt ok even though I did not sleep much. Even the remainder of the week my stomach has been queezy and things just feel off.