I'm sorry you are having a rough day...you will have ups and downs and that's called the rollercoaster of emotions. It will get better as time moves along, but you are grieving for the loss of the old marriage and w/grieving, it all takes time. Feel the pain, allow it to wash over you and then release. In time, the pain will lessen and you will begin to smile again. It all takes time. There is no special formula for getting through the grieving proves. Each person is different and so will be your grieving period.
If you need to cry, do so. Crying has a way of helping us heal. Go outside and scream at the top of your lungs to release some of the sadness/pain. It's okay to do these things.
Let's see, how did I deal the disappointment of knowing my spouse is chasing/pursuing someone else? Well, first off, it was disappointment and I was one furious lady. When the anger about his being w/the ow would get to me, I would get a pillow out and beat the stuffings out of it. I cleaned my house top to bottom, painted and remodeled my home and I became a workaholic, which allowed me to move up the ladder from one position to three different ones in less than 8 years. I found things that were physically challenging and did them.
I'm not going to say that you won't think about him and what he's doing, because you are in the early stages your crisis and you will be obsessed w/everything that revolves around him and MLC. So, what I do suggest is that you find something that will take your attention away from him for just a while. This will allow you to release some of your stress and maybe you'll find a new hobby in the process.
You should know whether it's MLC related or not. You know your husband and if this is out of character for him and he fits the suggested criteria of a MLCer, then most likely the OP is just a Band-Aid/crutch to him right now. If your husband was faithful the entire marriage until the BD, then I would say that an affair would be out of character for him. If he cheated on you previously throughout the years, then that would be another matter. See where I'm going w/this? We can't tell you if it's a real relationship or not...only you know your h.
As Cat04 stated, if it walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, then mostly like it is a duck.
