Life is kicking my butt

[qt4x11]

I am in outpatient care with people that are much more hopeless than I am. Young people with their lives ahead of them that can't seem to find any hope for the future. I've come to care for them, it takes me out of myself to care for another person facing their own problems.

I have realized lately how much I have been isolated. I work from home and spent four weeks recovering from my surgery. It has been easy for me because I work from home so i could isolate from the world if I wanted, and I did. For five months now.

I've learned things in this program such as self compassion and how to be afraid and vulnerable, but also how to meditate and then face things that cause you anxiety in a responsible way. Now I have to use them as I begin the process of picking up the pieces of my life while stressful things like lawyer emails and fighting over money happen all around me.

Today I picked up a mantra that may help me forgive myself and deal with all the guilt I have for ruining my marriage:

You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. You made mistakes but in your heart you meant well and never wanted to hurt anybody.