Maybs - Pt 4 - where to now?

[maybs]

Well WTF just happened here.

So W texted me on Wednesday asking me to look over the judgement for our D to make sure it was what we had agreed to and that I agreed with it. On Tuesday we had discussed and agreed that she would have her L add something to our agreement. Her email she sent me specifically said that her L had sent her this agreement before she had sent her L the things we had discussed before she stormed out on Tuesday. I told her I would look at it when I had time since I had a busy few days but also told her "if it does not include what we agreed to last night that needs to be added and you can resend it to me"

So I assume that means shes having her L take care of it.

Fast forward to today she texts me to ask when I'm planning on transferring money for the mortgage. I don't respond for a while and when I do this is what happens.....

me: I will get to it. did you have your L make those changes we talked about?

W: i asked you to look at the agreement and see if you agree with what she put in there and you have not responded with an answer

me:I sent you a text on Wednesday that said if what we discussed wasn't in there it needed to be added. I thought you were having it added.

W:what we talked about was added (I said this in the email), but I wanted to make sure it was okay because she used lawyer language.

W:I never said anything about talking to her unless you told me what needed to be changed.

me:okay. can you send me what we agreed on and I'll look at it right now. your email said she had sent you this before you told her what we had discussed so I didn't think what we discussed was added.

(so I re-read the judgement and see again that it was not in there)

W: (sends a screen shot of what we typed and agreed to Tuesday) I thought you would have at least read the email

me: I have been extremely busy. I only had time to glance at it.

W: This is important it should be a priority

me: I'm sorry you feel that I didn't make this a priority. My priorities are different than yours.

me: I'm looking at the email now. And I don't see where it says xxx, it just says we will "make other provision for it" or go back to mediation.

W: she's sending me a revised version I'll send it to you when I get it. It has to be signed Monday morning before court so I'll have to come to the house to have you sign it before I go into work

W: or you can sign it tonight at the party

me: I don't think it's appropriate to do that there. I am not there to sign divorce papers I am there to celebrate my nieces birthday. You are welcome to leave them with me and I can look it over this weekend. But I'm not signing or discussing this with you this evening.

W: I need them signed by 7am Monday monring and in my hands. If we do not then a judge will decide what happens to our assests. So I'll email it to you to review and I'll be at the house 6:30am Monday morning.

me:okay, please make sure you bring your copies of the house keys with you on Monday.

W: I'm not giving you the house key. I'm keeping that. I am still on the mortgage so I will have access to the house.

me: The agreement states that I have sole occupancy, you cannot take away my privacy by entering my home anytime you please. Please bring me your keys.

W: You can have the keys just because I never want to go there. But remember that landlords have keys to their rented homes. So this is me being nice once again. And we need to set up a day and time for me to come to the house and get the things I'm taking.

me:That's fine. We can try to find a time for you to come get your things. I'm sorry you feel that I'm being unfair. Please remember this is not a rental agreement and the same rules do not apply. If you need access to the house you can ask me.

W: we talked about having a rental agreement written up

me: I told you Tuesday that I was not comfortable with that and that we could look into another solution that would better fit our needs (Note** - the only reason we are doing this is because she thinks it will help her buy another house. I do not actually plan on signing anything. the divorce decree clearly states she isn't responsible for making the payments I am)

W: At this point I'm not signing the divorce agreement then
(Also Note*** she did already sign the mediation agreement and it's legally binding so w/e)

me: okay. we had discussed this on Tuesday that we would hold off on this and look into other solutions

W:But this needs to be determined before the court documents are final on Monday. I was under the impression we were writing up a "rental agreement" with obviously some different wording bc of our specific situation

me: Yes. That is what I thought as well. I just was confused by the wording "rental agreement" because we agreed to use different language.

W: well at this point there is not other language so I'm calling it what it will be most like.

me: okay will you be able to print a copy of the divorce decree for us to sign monday

w: yes

okay...wtf crazy town did I just enter... because her original email did not even come close to saying what she said it did and the actual judgement didn't say what it was supposed to... did we even see the same email or the same document...

I tried very hard to keep my cool. But sometimes she just pushes and pushes and pushes..

and the last I had heard she told me she wasn't going to my nieces party tonight and now suddenly she is...I had always suspected that she was lying about her ultrasound getting moved and yesterday I got the confirmation from the radiologist place that confirmed her scan was yesterday. She had told me it was rescheduled from yesterday to today..suspicious.

She has been so angry and combative this week...and I really have worked hard to try to remain calm and validating to her without being a doormat.