Journaling - so it's been two weeks since neither myself nor my D have had any contact with H. I just wonder what he makes of our silence, whether it is worrying him or if he really doesn't care? Who knows!
Frustrating isn't it. I'm not making light of your situation - just sympathizing. I think you'll agree with me that "the silence is deafening".
Originally Posted By: Coly23
Sins good news. I got a much wanted promotion yesterday and I was so excited the first thing I wanted to do was call H as he would be so proud of me. We would have gone out celebrating tonight if we were still together.... :0(
I'll raise a glass of wine to your good fortune tonight.
I think Coly23 that one thing that we both struggle with is that we're trying to understand what our spouse is doing as if they were a reasonable, rational person. We're applying "tactics" and "techniques" in a hope that they'll have some sort of effect in getting them to wake up and want to reconnect. You're maybe in the stage I was a while ago where you are still looking for answers and logic. In the homework is the "Musing from AmyC" http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2253741#Post2253741 which I presume you've read through. It was quite the eye-opener for me.
What it boiled down to and what I'm working on accepting is: - They're on their own journey - They can't be expected to behave rationally or like their old selves - We can't have any positive impact on them but we can push them farther into the tunnel - Even though these things seem to follow a regular pattern and script there's no guarantee that our specific spouses are following it - There is no timeline we can look to for when they'll come out of it. Some never do. - If you want to have sympathy for them just think that even though we're going through a tough time it's probably nothing compared to what they're going through.
But! It's not all gloom. You've gotten a promotion, I'm not sure what time zone you are in but it's got to be the weekend soon and you and D can relax and maybe celebrate a bit yourselves.
I know exactly what you mean about wanting to share your good fortune with your H - I struggle regularly on that. In the one letter I wrote to W after she left (which had no noticeable impact - no reply even) I wrote how I wanted to share the joys I've been able to find and to comfort her when she's feeling down. I'm fortunate at least that I have S22/D24 to reach out to over the miles. D24 is a fabulous cheer-leader and always there with an electronic hug. S22 gives great hugs in person but I have to go to him.
Take care my friend.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
