Taking the first step...

[Coly23]

Thanks Job. I have been trawling through all 400 odd posts on this board and came across the three types if MLC'r's. I just thought it was really interesting and I actually thought that there were a larger number who fall into the drop-in category. I dont know what you think of that observation?

Journaling - so it's been two weeks since neither myself nor my D have had any contact with H. I just wonder what he makes of our silence, whether it is worrying him or if he really doesn't care? Who knows!

I had my second telephone counselling session yesterday. I was determined to not cry but blubbered as soon as she started talking. What I've got from this so far is that I have a lot of unanswered questions and this is what is causing my anxiety. Although H told me he didn't love me anymore because he didn't feel we had anything in common, nothing to talk about etc I still don't know why? Also he seems to be either sitting on the fence about whether he wants to work in the M or is he just gaslighting me so as not to hurt me anymore than he has?

However, I have done a lot of self analysis and realise that I was very codependent in th R and also can be quite critical but I don't know for sure if these are the same faults that H finds in me as he would never talk to me. I think the C is pushing me towards the path of confronting H once and for all but I'm not going to initiate anything.

Sins good news. I got a much wanted promotion yesterday and I was so excited the first thing I wanted to do was call H as he would be so proud of me. We would have gone out celebrating tonight if we were still together.... :0(