You are thinking like a logical person because, well, you are! People with their heads screwed on tight make big decisions in a calculated, well thought out fashion!
The MLCer/someone in depression is not capable of this kind of logical thinking. I suggest you read 2T's most recent conversation with her h. He says he needs the divorce for closure and then minutes later says it's not definite he wants to divorce. A logical person would be able to say: "hmm, I am not really sure what I am doing here and it's a big decision. I better figure myself out."
Because you have limited contact and you've given him space and time, you are giving him waaaaay too much credit. He is still lost. 1 year 4 mos. post BD into this there is no way he can know what is going on. I promise you this as I live with an MLCer; mine is 2 years post BD and still lost.
As crazy as this sounds, you can't take this personally. I know it is a D, but he's lost right now. Cali is right. They blow up everything around them up almost like playing whack-a-mole, hoping the next thing will ease their pain and/or make them happy. I have watched my h do it. You can see it in everyone's threads where they have some contact with the spouse, right?
Take care of you. We are all supporting you.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
