If you are in counseling for your personal issues, that's okay. If you are in counseling for your MR......you may get advice contrary to the advice here. I have found it amazing the number of H's who apparently thought every source would have the same advice, but that's not the case at all. The more sources....the varied the advice.
Can you tell us about her growing up years, and if she suffered abuse? Was there something that happened that was traumatic for her and maybe affected the rest of her life?
I believe waywardness in a wife begins with resentment, unmet expectations, and unresolved issues. She carries that around in her heart and then it leads to disrespect for her H. Over time, she begins to rebel against her H/M, if the resentment & disrespect continues to grow. When she goes against the H/M, she is showing rebellion. The WW is angry. She may (or may not) be depressed, but count of it....she is angry at her H. She blames him for her unhappiness, and just about everything else, too.
She doesn't have to be in an affair to qualify as wayward, however, the majority of the stories here do include affairs. If you have not read the threads for Help for Newcomer LBHS Who Have a WW (on Cadet's post), then take a look and see if you recognize your own wife in those threads.
Btw, swearing on her child's life....means nothing to a WW. You cannot believe what she says, and you cannot trust her. This is not the girl you married.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
