Divorce negotiation has stalled. I've been trying to put the ball in W's court, so she drives the process.
But W's also been more angry. Full of rage at moments. In those moments I resolve to push the D forward. Not out of hatred or resentment -- but believing that a physical separation might defuse her simmering anger, as well as provide a haven for the kids. Her anger is pushing me in that direction, but it's not a clear cut choice, yet.
That visceral, physical, sexual tie I felt with my W ... it is being weathered away by months of her coldness and anger. In a way, she's making it easier for me to divorce her. I'm sure it's her subconscious way of making the world consistent for herself -- it's easier to make me the bad guy and want to leave, rather than to admit I'm a decent guy and still want to leave me.
She's blowing in the wind -- a hurricane -- and I'm trying to stay steady without being fake.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
