My genuine concern now is that she is getting an apartment. I don't really feel comfortable with financing this, as I feel that will be condoning the affair. However anytime I mention separation of finances, she gets defensive and says that means it's over. I guess the issue is I don't know how to separate finances without it seeming like I am asking for a D.
Holy manipulation, batman!!!! because you don't do things the way she wants it's over?
Exactly. This is the fog we speak of. She is telling you that she has feelings for someone else and is moving out, yet when you mention a practical change, she tells you that YOU are ending it. (Shaking my head) Believe none of what she says and do what is right for you.
There used to be a script on here by Starsky that one could say to the wayward and it involved telling them that it was there choice to leave, that you are willing to work on the M and your part in it, but it involves transparency and commitment. It was simple and to the point and delivered without emotion or anger. Anyone recall it? I am not sure it is time to say it to her, but she is clearly trying to play the blame game. Don't take the bait.
-Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
