Cherry, filing, moving. Gaining strength

[Cherry]

Just journaling a little. The past couple of days I've had some pangs of sadness, not necessarily anger at all, just the sad feeling when you know someone has gone. This has mainly been induced by the sadness visible in my s. After the other day and crying at the door, there's been a few times I've lost him and found him sitting outside wh's bedroom door. The usual "daddy's gone" and "where's daddy". He's also taken to carrying round a framed wedding photo of me and wh that he found. This breaks my heart, I hate the pain I'm going through, but I hate the pain it's causing my S even more. I haven't seen wh for a few days, he's been going out super early for work, and coming home like 1/2 am.

Went in for a couple hours to work this morning, then came home and picked S up and took him out for a little while for a play. Then the usual shopping, cleaning and while I wasn't feeling too sick- I cooked a few meals to last a few days (I've taken to cooking in bulk and freezing them so if I'm having a particularly sick day, I don't have to face cooking, and that way S has something nice and nutritious. After that, me and S made a mess doing some painting. Feeling pretty darn tired now already!