Bomb dropped

[RDS]

I'm making a concerted effort not to bicker with my daughter about the nonsense that bothers me. It took this BD for me to see how petty I could be with both my wife and daughter. I'm committed to being the best dad I can be.

I quoted the above because I would also bicker and complain to my W constantly about things that bothered me. I never saw the good she did for me. I only saw the negative and that was the main reason she just couldn't take it anymore. I've since learned how bad I became and I'm really working to better myself in that area. I now see my W with all the positives she has and when we talk it's such a breath of fresh air having pleasant conversations instead of the condescending remarks I used to make all the time. She hasn't brought up anything negative about me in a long time. When we first started communicating she did lots of blaming. I validated as best I could and I never put the blame back on her. Now when we talk about our married life it's pretty much all positive. I still don't know if she has changed her mind about getting a divorce. I don't bring it up as it's a step at a time process.

I never bickered with my D and if nothing else changes I would suggest you keep working on that with your D. Your D is going to be your D forever; regardless of what happens between you and your W. You do not want to lose you W and D at the same time. Be the dad you know you can be. You both will appreciate it more than you will ever know. My D is 28 now and we still talk all the time about everything under the sun (and I mean everything) and she lives half way across the country. I couldn't imagine going through life if my D resented me. I hated my stepdad. The day I moved out of the house is the day I stopped talking to him. I know he regretted how he treated me growing up but by then it was too late to mend fences. Don't be like my stepdad.