In the UK - PT21 feeling stuck

[roist]

I am sorry you are stuck. Or that you are feeling stuck. I doubt there is much you can do to unstick your situation, at least not in the wayyou want.

Some tougher stance people will advise to start divorce proceedings or moving towards other Rs will jilt WAS into deciding to come back. I believe this can work BUT I imagine only if the WAS is in the right place at that time. Otherwise they don't really care. This is why I think such actions should not be taken with the sole intent to trigger a desirable action in W.

Your wife's journey could finish next week just as easily as next year. You have no idea how she will think then. Your best chance remains becoming the best happiest huddy possible. Plus that is win win regardless of her.

You have survived eight months of in house separation. That was tough but not only did you survive, you grew enormously in that time. I am sure, hat time posted little seeds of doubt in your Ws mind. Those seeds could be growing slowly but steadily.You have no way of knowing as she will keep it to herself until she is sure.

That reminds me of Chinese bamboo, something SH mentioned recently.it's seeds stay 5 years in the soil and it is only in its fifth year that it breaks the soil. That year it will grow 30m. Patience.

Your friends mean well, but only you walk in your shoes. And only you have to live with any decisions taken. I think it would be wrong to let them believe you are waiting for W. It could get back to her. Plus you need to live AS IF you are not waiting for her, AS IF she is never coming back. That seems to be an important ingredient to many reconciled couples.

I wish I could tell you how to do this. But I know you can.

Best wishes and enjoy your weekend.