Phase 2 contd.

[ciluzen]

Don't panic. It does feel like a punch in the gut, even when you kind of know its going to happen.

Interview Ls through free consultation. I went with one who charged a flat fee after asking each L how much a D "experience" costs on average. Its becoming more common. Her flat fee actually saved me money and allowed me to not worry about how often I emailed or called with questions and concerns. I did that a lot.

Prepare, then sit and wait...see what moves are made. A good L will set your mind at ease.

This whole thing really bites, but you are strong. You can get through this. You can even DB during and, if you wish, after. Sometimes this is something that they feel they need to do and may have interesting consequences that you couldn't even imagine. I even have two people I've worked with who have been D and then remarried their exes two years later. One after a major affair. Both are still with their Hs. Crazy stuff, but interesting all the same.

Just protect yourself, you are worth it. Let your H do his thing. You have been doing a great job of focusing on you. Keep it up!