I really do not mean to excuse any of my actions over the past year. Probably the biggest reason I'm here and so interested in these boards is b/c I did NOT do any of the things that are so recommended. For every crappy thing my xW did, I followed it up w/ an equally crappy thing...it never meant I didn't love her, but I admittedly was being vengeful and I completely regret it. I didn't like who I had become and reading the inspiration of people that have gone through this is why I'm seeking advice. Of which, I thank you for yours.
I've had to take several good long looks in the mirror over the past 9 months and I'm still struck by the duplicity of my feelings. Spend a month building back my character, leadership, and stability...then lose it in a day. It's only recently that I've been able to piece longer stretches of this together...yet I still miss my xW, and that's the toughest thing in all of this. No matter how strong I am...I miss her.
Again, sorry if this sounds like I'm just venting/complaining, but hearing some tough love is probably what I need...so thanks for that.
ME-37 W-34 T-8 M-4 ILYBNILWY BD: 8-31-2015 EA suspected - 11/1/15 PA confirmed - 1/22/16 W files for D - 2/4/16 D - 8/9/16
