Eating Life with a Big Spoon

[HaWho]

Bttrfly - hmm. I read what you wrote about the Catholic stance and cried FOUL! There MUST be some clause in fine print in case your spouse turns completely crazy. And yes, you were living with him through anger and denial.

Hi Esame, nice to hear from you. The best you can do is be the parent they need right now.

2T - YES! That is exactly what I wanted to do!!! Thank goodness I have learned to leave the house in a hurry. The neighbors probably think my house is on fire from the way I sometimes dash out of here.

I feel myself further drifting off from him. Yesterday I found myself wondering what keeps him here. This time last year he'd given me the dreaded letter. And at the end of it he wrote that if I did not do what he wanted me to do, he would respectfully go off and find it with ALL the women he knew would do these things for him. So arrogant. And yet he's still here.

Last week, I was in line in my car waiting to pick up my s from practice. H came up and slammed his face up to the window to scare me. I laughed (and did get really scared). He laughed too. I could tell he was checking out my legs and it made me feel really uncomfortable. Ever since that letter, I find him kind of creepy/weird because what he wrote was, well, so creepy and weird. I think what is hardest for me is that, truth be told, this is not someone with whom I would be friends. NOT AT ALL. I can be sort of friendly with him in the same way you're nice to a completely mentally unstable co - worker.

This morning he came just to the hall outside the kitchen and asked if my email was still _____. I said yep. I found it sad. Does he really not remember my email address? Or is he laying the foundation to tell me something is coming to me electronically?

I did feel a panic. Usually the more deliberate he is about talking to me, the crazier the information he relays. So I was preparing myself. Maybe he was going to go back to one of his original "plans."

The email came minutes after he asked for my address. The subject said "options" and I was convinced he was going to recommend one of his old plans: running off to Thailand for a few years with a few women, have an open marriage, to be Indiana Jones, just leave for a few years to be "free."

But actually it was about a few financial plans. He told me S13 will be in college in 5 years--something I HAVE told him throughout much of his preposterous MLC "planning!" When he recommended getting himself a beach shag pad I sarcastically said: "great! Just be sure YOU explain to S13 why there is no college money for him!"

He seems bent on showing me that he is financially responsible. In the spring he told me his plan was to spend the summer living it up just for himself. He counted summer as March - October! (His "summer" spanned THREE seasons!!!). In actuality that is not what he did per my watching the financials.