Depressed people don't move or think as quickly as we do. They feel shame and guilt for what they are doing and yet, they continue to do the things that they are doing. You have to remember, that in their minds, we and the relationships are the problems and we are creating the unhappiness that they are experiencing. Coly, it takes years for this stuff to bubble up to the surface because it has been stuffed way down into their souls and when something triggers the crisis...that is when it begins to come to the surface and it will take a few years before they can actually work through their issues. These people have been stunted emotionally and they have to go back to that period of time and face those issues in order to grow up. We didn't grow up over night and neither will they.
Again depressed people tend to isolate themselves from others and since depression is the main ingredient of the crisis, in my opinion, this is one of the reasons that they tend to avoid contact w/us because they do not want to be reminded of what they've done and/or doing to us at this time. Also, they can see the pain and disappointment in our eyes, faces and the tone of our voices...another reason they tend to disappear a bit.
There are three types of mlcers: 1. Drop-in. This is the mlcer that continues to come to the home, most likely on a daily basis or every couple of days. They have dinner, sit around w/the children and just visit like old times.
2. Droplet. This is the mlcer who comes to home or visits w/you periodically. They may come by every couple of weeks or months. They don't make a habit of being at your residence all of the time like drop-in does.
Continue reading up on MLC and depression. Keep the focus on you as much as possible.
3. Dropout. This is the mlcer who walks out the door and you never hear from him or see him again for a very, very long time. No contact at all. They ride off into the sunset never to be seen or heard from again by you or family.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
